Random Thoughts

First, let me express my feelings about what I am trying to do here:

Once in a while, an idea comes along, or an e-mail with a great message. So, instead of me trying to memorize it all, I thought it would be nice to share it with you. So, pardon if it gets personal, risque, or eccentric. This is a reflection of the inner me. Those with a * are my ideas. Enjoy.

Friendship:

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship. anon.

OZONE:

Why not just invent bio-degradable balloons, fill them with Helium and Ozone (we can make it) and let them go? When they reach a certain height, they pop, and the ozone is released.*

Stress:

It is amazing how much stress and discomfort the human will endure, and for how long. It is equally amazing to what extremes and speed the human will go through; when it becomes time to eliminate the source of these problems.

Tolerance:

Tolerance does not mean acceptance. It only means the turning of the inner eye away from what sickens the heart of the veiwer.*

Peoples' Paths

Like Heavenly Bodies in the sky, people have their courses in life to travel. Some appear to go no where, some flash boldly, some twinkle, and others bump and crash along their way. *

Geese

I have learned a lot about life from Geese: Don't rush things, it will turn around and bite. Protect the young. Teach the little ones all they need to know very early. Your siblings' children should be loved as your own. Happiness comes with a companion, but give them space. Laugh with others, not at them. Take a bath at least once a day. Don't put all your eggs in one nest. Don't be afraid to ask for anything. Yell at the sun for going away at dusk, and cheer it on when it returns the next morning.*

Living

In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And Satan said, "It doesn't get any better than this." And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good. And Satan said, "There goes the neighborhood." And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own image; male and female created he them. And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit. And Satan said, "I know how I can get back in this game."

God put on Earth broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 79-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man: "You want fries with that?" And Man said: "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds.

And God created healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. And the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds. And the Devil created Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.

And God sent heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them. And the Devil brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds. And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds.

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream dip. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. And the Devil canceled Man's health insurance.

God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken and cook nourishing whole grain brown rice. And the Devil created light beer so Man could poison his body with alcohol while feeling righteous because he had to drink twice as much of the now insipid brew to get the same buzz. And Man gained another ten pounds.

And God created the life-giving tofu. And Woman ventured forth into the land of Godiva chocolate and upon returning asked Man: "Do I look fat?" And the man told the truth. And Woman went out from the presence of man and dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage counselor. And Woman put aside the seeds of the earth and took unto herself comfort food.

And God brought forth Weight-watchers... It didn't help. And God created exercise machines with easy payments. And Man brought forth his Visa at 21%. And the exercise machine went to dwell in the closet, just east of the polyester leisure suit. And in the fullness of time, Woman received the exercise machine from Man in the property settlement. It didn't help her, either.

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Many people will walk in and out of your life.

But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

To handle yourself, use your head;

To handle others, use your heart.

Anger is only one letter short of danger.

If someone betrays you once, it is his fault;

If he betrays you twice, it is your fault.

Great minds discuss ideas;

Average minds discuss events;

Small minds discuss people.

He who loses money, loses much;

He, who loses a friend, loses much more.

He , who loses faith, loses all.

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature,

Beautiful old people are works of art.

Learn from the mistakes of others,

You can't live long enough to make them all yourself!

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19 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME 50 YEARS TO LEARN

by Dave Barry

1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a

laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human

race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that

word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost

never want you to share yours with them.

5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its

glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as

His

messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too

seriously.

8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one

individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very

often, that individual is crazy.

9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

10. Never lick a steak knife.

11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and

compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely

suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby

emerging from her at that moment.

15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people

to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

16. "The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of

age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that,

deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to

annoy people who are not in them.

18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice

person.

19. Your friends love you anyway.

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10 Best Reasons to Quit Smoking* Do it for yourself, you are worth it.

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Think You Might be Stressed Out?*

What to do:

Close eyes, and listen for your heartbeat. Hear it? No? Then go somewhere where you can. No Music, no noise. Sit relaxed, without crossing your legs or arms. Count the heartbeats. Hear your breathing? Good. Breath in through your mouth, and out through your nose. Breath in for the count of 5 heartbeats, through the mouth, and out for 10, through the nose. Try to do this for 2 minutes. This may take a few tries. It is OK if you mess up a few times. No one is perfect. Do this exercise when you are standing in line, waiting for the toll line, stopped at a red light, or working on your computer. You can do this as many times as you wish. You can not hurt yourself doing this. Your body will remember to breath normally after the exercises. Your heart, mind and soul will thank you.

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BELIEF

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I fear my most creative works will come while I am ailing from improper medications......*

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